


here are your upturned hands

by marcasite



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Oral Sex, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex, Sex with love, Smut, Yeah it's love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 09:29:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14829734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcasite/pseuds/marcasite
Summary: Watching her now, Cassian has never realized how much of his day is spent on her before – “where’s Jyn? What is she doing? Is she safe?”The litany of those questions dominates his day because he has come to the realization that he can’t imagine a universe where he doesn’t see her regularly, can’t picture his life where she isn’t in it, where he doesn’t have the firm knowledge that she will always come for him when he needs her.





	here are your upturned hands

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is but thought I would try to get back into writing...more mature stuff since it's been awhile. Truly only a small, teeny tiny amount of plot. It's mainly just them getting it on.

Cassian realizes just how much he wants Jyn on an ordinary Centaxday.

Maybe it is the long, dullness of the meeting, maybe it is the knowledge of Jyn next to him but he does remember that it started on a Centaxday.

He hadn’t woken up that morning intending to realize he was in love. He hadn’t woken up intent on anything other than trying to make it through another long day. He had some small hope that he was going to be able to finish his last mission brief that he had (uncharacteristically) push off to the side, maybe some time with Kay-Too on a droid they were both working on. Those were his only intentions.

And that worked until Draven’s late afternoon meeting.

Maybe it was the heat of Yavin coupled with the redundancy of the meeting that dragged him into a lethargy; maybe it is that he was just always so damn tired these days but he remembers his thoughts drifting off until a sharp poke on his shoulder. Startled, he realizes that he has listed into Jyn’s side, settling his weight against her. He watches her hands settle back in her lap as she continues to remain focused on Draven. She does not look up at him and he watches the movement of her hands with something heavy he cannot describe, uncurling in his chest.   

Once he starts watching her, he can’t stop watching her.

Watching her now, Cassian has never realized how much of his day is spent on her before – “where’s Jyn? What is she doing? Is she safe?”

The litany of those questions dominates his day because he has come to the realization that he can’t imagine a universe where he doesn’t see her regularly, can’t picture his life where she isn’t in it, where he doesn’t have the firm knowledge that she will always come for him when he needs her.

It comes to him in a wave of lust and truth. I am in love with Jyn Erso.

He wants her. Needs her. But what could she ever need from him? Why exactly does this woman stay with him, want nothing more than to be his partner?

He feels a hard poke on his shoulder again and once again realizes he has let his thoughts drift off, Draven’s stare on him filled with apprehension. Draven is worried at his lapses and Cassian knows he needs to focus.

But Jyn is finally staring up at him, her eyes glowing with humor and happiness. There is a light on her skin and she is cream and ivory wrapped in perfect beauty and he’s got it bad.

Jyn Erso.

The woman who stays for some unknown reasons, and the woman he clings to since she is the first stable person in his entire existence. His Jyn.

Cassian gives up completely on a Centaxday.

 

 

+

 

 

“Why do you stay?” With me, he wants to add but doesn’t.

She is idly leaning against the wall of his room, brow furrowed at her datapad and at his question startles; eyes darting up at him, flooding with hurt and something else he can’t quite pinpoint.   _Kriff_ , he didn’t mean to hurt her, just wants to know so bad that he can’t stop himself from asking even though he knows he shouldn’t.

He watches her take a deep breath and steady herself, preparing an answer. He wonders if she will lie to him but dismisses the thought as unworthy and he can feel a small amount of shame creep over him.

“I stay…here because I think I can make a difference.”

He looks at her and he knows that it isn’t the entire truth and she knows he knows it.

“That’s not the only reason.”

“You’re right, it’s not.”

She is still leaning against the wall, standing still and suddenly he is angry. He is angry at himself, angry at letting himself get in too deep and angry with Jyn for not letting him in.

“Tell me why. Tell me the truth or get out. I haven’t lied to you since Eadu and I ask that you not lie to me.” He points at his door, his face slipping out of anger into a mask of casual indifference. She looks up at him with exhausted, half dead eyes and it’s the look on her face that drains all his anger out to stain the floor beneath his feet. She looks up at him, quiet and still, and he looks down at her, the ungrateful friend. Cassian is more than ashamed.

His mouth opens, and she shifts to one side, as if to prepare herself for the next verbal assault, and he winces at the thought that his words are battering her. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, and closes his eyes. He should have left well enough alone. He is just so bad at people (relationships, what relationships?) sometimes.

Her face softens, relaxes, and she smiles weakly at him.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s-“

She cuts him off with the simple touch of her hand on his shoulder, and all the words that he could have said fall dead to the floor. “Yes, Cassian it is.”

“I stayed for you.” Her voice is quiet, honest and he wishes he has as half much courage as she does. He edges closer, moving until he stands just in front of her. She has turned her gaze to a spot on the wall behind him and he can see her tense up as he approaches but she doesn’t move. Trusts him despite his earlier anger. Again, she humbles him.

“Look at me, Jyn.”

She closes her eyes, “I didn’t want things to change, I wasn’t sure if you felt the same and I didn’t want things to get weird between us. You mean…”

“This won’t make things weird between us,” he breathes, and she shakes her head. “This actually makes things a lot easier.”

Cassian’s lips press to hers for only a heartbeat before they simultaneously open their mouths. His tongue slips past her teeth and sweeps over hers. He brings his free hand to cup her cheek as his body pushes against hers. His entire body goes into sensory overload, she tastes like every perfect thing that could ever happen. His tongue delves deeper, teasing hers, tangling with it in a sensual dance that leaves him turned inside out.

Her fingers skim over his side, up his rib cage. His hand, in turn, moves from her face and plows through her hair pulling on her bun, his fingers burrowing deep in the strands once loosen.

Cassian hears a whimper of need lodge in his throat, and he’s not sure whom is seducing whom. He deepens the kiss. Their bodies are pressing together, yet he feels the insane desire to get closer to her. So much closer. He wants their limbs entwined, every inch of their bodies touching each other.

She pulls back slightly, opening her eyes as his mouth attaches itself to her neck and her collarbone. His teeth nibble on the skin of her neck and he sweeps his tongue against her skin, soothing.  They lean into each other again and he reclaims her lips in a soft kiss. All thoughts, save for the truly erotic ones, recedes into the far recesses of his mind. All that registers now, is the feel of her lips on his, the tantalizing sweep of her tongue, the warmth and strength of her fingers as they remain twined with his, the heat and sensuality that engulfs him.

He pulls back and smiles at the way her mouth follows his, she is perfect and he can’t believe this is real. He wants her to know what her admission meant to him, what she means to him.

“I love you, Jyn.” He watches as her eyes widen and hurriedly continues, “I have since I watched you fight for what was right, fight for what you believed in. I don’t need you to love me back, I just want you to know…”

She reaches up to kiss him before he finishes, “I do. Love you.”

And something tight inside of him unfurls at her admission.

He pushes her vest to the side and she allows him to pull it off her. He tosses it to the floor and before he can, she is pulling her shirt up and tosses it in the corner of the room along with a plethora of hidden weapons, he is sure. He unzips her pants, slides them over her hips. He starts to kiss her neck, letting her pants slide the rest of the way down. She lifts one foot at a time out of the material, her hands bracing on his shoulders.

His mouth charters a dangerous course across her shoulders, his tongue moving in lush circles evoking a series of damning tickles and delicious cravings. “Cassian,” she whispers, her nails digging half-moons into his shoulders. “I want this.”

He slides off her underwear and slowly turns her. He eased his hands beneath her breastband. She gasps in quiet surprise, but doesn’t pull away. Instead she leans back, pressing her body against his and starts grinding her backside against his erection until he could’ve exploded at that very moment.

She holds up her hair as he pulls on her breastband and slides the straps down her arms, his fingers trailing lightly over her skin. Every tiny hair on her arm stands up in response. “You’re so beautiful.” The admission is pulled quietly from him.

Wrapping his arms around her; he cups her breasts in his palms, lifts as he strokes her nipples with the rough pad of his thumbs and as it elicits a little gasp of pleasure from her, he leans closer to her wanting to take everything in. He continues the motions of his hands as he leans down to nibble her shoulder. She turns her head and sucks his lower lip and he can’t help the groan that escapes. Her mouth is hot on him, burning him, making him mad with desire. Desire he isn’t going to fight anymore.

She tips her head back, offering her throat for his hungry mouth to taste. “S’good.”

Cassian stops and pulls back slightly, eyes focusing on her. He leans forward while turning her around, emptying the space between them and replacing the air with feral want, intent. She backs up, matching his stride until the corner of the wall nips her back and she splays her hands on either side of the wall. He touches her mouth with his finger, running it over her lip, obscuring the shape. “My pants.”

Jyn gives a small smile and unfastens the belt with nimble fingers, slips the button through the slit and slowly slides the zipper down. She allows the back of her hand to brush the length of him through the soft cotton.

On a swift intake of air, he yanks the belt free of the loops, his eyes portraying a turbulence of want and need. Again, he watches a smile tug at the corner of her mouth at his obvious arousal.

Parting the V of his pants by sliding her hands on either side of his erection, she slides her palms over his hips, under the band of his underwear, over the arch of his ass. Her body presses against him, enticing, warm.

A small moan catches in his throat as she slides his pants down, and he pulls her against him, his mouth slants over hers in a fierce, hungry kiss. He steps out of his pants, never breaking his hold on her. She digs her fingers wildly through his hair, fisting and releasing strands. She teeters, breathless, when the kiss ends.

He blindly fumbles with his shirt, and swears in annoyance as he yanks it over his head before turning her so she faces the length of the wall, takes her arms and places each hand solidly against the wall while nudging her legs apart until she stands spread eagle against it. Cassian works his hands up the inside of her thighs to the juncture of her heat and palms her. Gasping, she tilts her pelvis back, wriggling against his hand. He slides his finger inside her, then another. Jyn cries out, bucks against him.

“Cassian…” Her voice trails off. Cassian presses his fingers deeper and strokes as her fingers claw against the wall and her breasts bounce with the rocking of her body. His fingers continued the exquisite torture and she bites her lips to keep from calling out.

He slides his fingers away and she whimpers. So close, so close. Holding her hips gently, he guides himself to her entrance and pauses. He can feel her humid heat as he moves against her but he pauses deliberately, holding himself taut. “Okay?”

Jyn moves against him, her frustration showing. “Yes-“

He eases into her slowly and she is so hot and tight that his vision whites out for a moment and he lets out a long groan as he leans his forehead against her back. He pulls back and thrusts back in, craving the feel of her wrapped around him. She gasps, clenching her muscles to draw him even deeper.

“Tell me what you want, anything you want.” He withdraws again, this time completely. He slides his length back and forth, driving her mad.

“You, this, now.”

He thrusts into her again and again creating a steady pulse, loving the way she arches against him, her breath in quiet pants and small moans. She was his and he was hers and in this moment, there was nothing else but them. He can feel her tightening around him, feel the heat of her as she comes around him. She grips him, milking him with wet heat as she convulses around him and it’s simply too much. He pumps hot into her, a moan caught in his throat as he thrusts hard, again and again and again, spilling into her in hot bursts before he leans against her hard, his body spent and shaking.

Pulling out of her, he turns her quickly, claiming her mouth in another heated kiss. He walks her backwards, his mouth refusing to leave hers, towards the bunk; letting the whispers of possessive words fall from him.

 “Jyn…Jyn, I want to taste you.”

She moans as he drops down before her and places a rough hand on the inside of her thighs. Slowly, he pushes her legs open as she falls to the bunk behind her. With a small grin, he slips his tongue across her and groans as she spreads her legs further, offering herself to him without hesitation. He strokes his tongue across her outer lips, teasing her with light nips and long strokes.

Her body rises to meet each flick of his tongue, writhing with the need for more. Cassian delves his tongue deep inside her, plunging it in and out in a slow, languid rhythm that mimicked the one he just demonstrated with his cock earlier.

“I want you,” Jyn whispered, tugging gently on his head.

His head comes up in surprise, but then he shakes it. “No, not yet. I want to lick every drop of need from your body.”

She protests, “Let me taste you. Lay on your back.”

Brown eyes clash with green, heat burning that is hot and full of dangerous promise. He concedes and follows her command, lying across the bunk while she crawls to her knees. She surprises him when she straddles his mouth and then bends to take just his head between her lips. Cassian lets out a low groan before he goes back to work on her with renewed vigor.

She mimics his every action.

When he sucks on her clit, she sucks on the head of his penis. When he runs his tongue all the way down her, she runs her tongue up and down his length. When he drills his tongue inside her, she fills herself with him.

The pressure is building and by the way she twitches against his tongue and moans against his body, he is not the only one close. She is going to come against his mouth and he is going to drink up every bit she is willing to offer him.

With a shift of her hips, she begins to grind in slow circles against his mouth while increasing the speed of her mouth, alternatively sucking him and taking him down as deep as he would go. “Cassian…please, please.”

“Come for me, Jyn.” He murmurs against her and she explodes against him, her hips jerking wildly as Cassian digs his fingers into her hips and continues to lap at her mercilessly. He tries to hold back, but the pressure is too much, her mouth too perfect and he lets go, pumping hot into her mouth and down her throat. She continues her torture, like he had, until he is spent and he thinks, just a bit broken.

They lay there for a moment, both catching their breath. Cassian starts to sit up and Jyn crawls up next to him. She loops her arm around his neck and proceeds to pull him back down as she falls face first into the pillows. He laughs to himself and settles against her, rubbing his hands against her arm.

She turns her head to watch him and his hand reaches out and grazes her shoulder, then slides oh so-slowly down her arm. His warm skin caresses her wrist a moment before his fingers skims over her palm and twines with hers. A gentle pull has her turning fully to him and he kisses her as if they have all the time in the world.

“Stay.” It’s not a question, it’s not a command. It’s his hope.

“Okay,” she whispers against his shoulder.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from my favourite poem ever: [listen i love you joy is coming](http://alonesomes.tumblr.com/post/86068025351/start-by-pulling-him-out-of-the-fire-and-hoping) and has my favourite line ever which I am using as inspiration for another wip i am writing "When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it."
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr anytime, [leaiorganas](https://leaiorganas.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Kara, thanks for reading this, you know you missed the sexy tiems.


End file.
